For months the only outlet in the pool area has been dying. In the last few weeks it has taken me up to ten minutes to jiggle the plug of my boombox (you people have filthy minds) to get the current from the outlet to stay on. Finally, I asked the head of Aquatics to have maintenance come and fix it. Well, they tested it with one of those outlet testers that’s sort of like a pencil with a metal point and a small light that indicates if there’s juice. Well, yes, there’s juice, but it’s inconsistent and, well, the Flaming Curmudgeon can figure out if something needs to be replaced. Beginning last Friday I have had a maintenance man rig up an extension cord to an outlet in the hallway that has to go up over two doorways. 
It’s not particularly up to code but it works. I’m not about to do silent choreography because, well, I can only be SO ridiculous as even the Flaming Curmudgeon has his limits! I’ve been through at least two different maintenance men and gone through the same song and dance three times in one week and yesterday the head of Aquatics had e-mailed me to inform me that the outlet had been fixed. I went early last night and took my cell phone and charger to test it a half hour before class. NOPE. There’s a SPARK of electricity but it doesn’t remain on. I stormed to this man’s office, scaring the half dozen or so young lifeguards who were giggling and festive. I was furious, loud and laughable, as are my wont. And one point one of the gal lifeguards interjected “But the guy came and TESTED it.” I screamed “Three different people have tested it and the tester indicates there is juice somewhere in the outlet, but that does not mean that when you plug something in that the something will receive the electricity!” I believe I ended with “I’m finished with this shit!” and stormed out after shouting, “Just have the extension cord rigged up before class starts at six!”
Drama queen?! You bet your sweet ever-loving lily white ass! Last night I sent the following calm and polite e-mail to the head of Aquatics and I hope he’s able to read it with his one good eye and his inability to comprehend the English language:
Testing the outlet is not the answer.
As I have now explained three times to at least two different maintenance men.
I KNOW that the test device says there is power in the outlet.
That is NOT the problem.
The problem is that the outlet is loose or a wire inside is loose and when you put an actual PLUG into it the connection does not HOLD.Please fill out a work order or contact the head of maintenance or whatever needs to be done and replace the outlet.
Then, once it is replaced, do not have it tested with that little handheld thing with the light on the end.
Get a fan. Or a hair dryer or SOMETHING with an actual PLUG attached to it and plug it in and see if it works. For five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Please do this yourself so that you can know that the outlet works.
I will be there to teach on Monday evening. I will arrive plenty early to check and see if the outlet has been REPLACED and is in working order. You may want to have the extension cord rigged up just in case. Because unless you yourself have CHECKED to see that the outlet works then you cannot tell me that it has been fixed.
I have been annoying you about this for a week now. And you may not understand why I get upset. But I have been teaching for years and using music and I spend A LOT OF MY OWN time CHOOSING music for my class and MY CLASS enjoys the music I use. If the class is now to be taught without music because no one can replace an outlet, well, that seems ridiculous to me. You must enjoy watching me embarrass myself jumping up and down and swearing and screaming. That is the only explanation I can think of for your claiming that the outlet has been fixed when it has not been fixed.
If the outlet is not replaced and in full working order by Monday’s class, be prepared to be visited by every member of my class — wet, dripping, and mad as hell.
Have a great weekend.
